story of my life…

story of my life…


I hope you want me and think about me as much as I do you.

I hope you want me and think about me as much as I do you.


haha this is completely and utterly me.

haha this is completely and utterly me.




Whenever I am texting or writing to my crush I always am so polite. I say things like I am sorry to bother you. Or I’ll stop pestering you. Or just Skype me whenever you have time. But why. Why do I do this. I am not sorry to bother you. Hell I wanted to bother you and let you know I was thinking about you. And that should be a good thing. Maybe it’s because you don’t exactly know where you stand. You are on a line that so delicately can waver in either direction and so you try to tread ever so lightly.


As I lay here, alone, the certainties of the day slowly become pounding questions of the night.



Mozart 2.0

Oh my Oh my. After the last time that Mozart told me that he didnt want to be with me I took it to heart. I finally heard what he said and I completely gave up on the idea. Maybe it was because he had time to think without his life being crazy busy or maybe it is because I completely gave up on chasing him that he came to me. Which I was very pleasantly surprised. We discussed everything. How he was so hot and cold and how he really hurt me. How I was afraid in our relationship that he wouldnt ever be there for me if I fell. And he agreed to it all. He told me that during our entire relationship he realized that he slightly had his foot out. That he was never fully in. fully invested and that is why he was so hot and cold. But that he thought about everything. And that he wants to be with me and re-discover who I am as a person. He started making these big plans about the future and I told him to stop. Even though I like him, I am going to be cautious this time around. He already planned a trip to Chicago and has a place to stay…but obviously if everything goes right then I will want him to spend his time with me. You may be asking why the hell are you doing this? and my response is because it is him. He has changed my mind on so many things…on the world. I realized how unimportant money is and how creativity can carry you far. I am so sick of going on dates where men lead with their money, or their perfect job. I want to hear about your experiences…not your bank account. I miss him all the time and look back on fond memories till 6 months later. So when he said he was coming to chicago I told him that I am mainly in the burbs and if he wanted to be kept busy he should stay with the person who offered him a place to stay. To which he responded you are the thing I am coming to Chicago for, I want to see where this goes. Which is exactly what I needed to hear. He told me that he is all in. While i am incredibly happy about this, I told him that my plans are not changing. I am going to Ireland like I planned, and if he wants to be with me then maybe he will have to go there with me, that he will maybe have to move around. Follow me to the ends of the world… Im not planning the future because whenever it is useless to plan something that has so many possibilities… but what I will say is that I am hopeful. that I am happy and that I am still planning on doing what I want to do with my life, he would just be a great addition.